Sunday 23 June 2019

How to get past the "what's the point?" feeling - staying motivated

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Setting up Healthy Minds, Healthy Bods has been a mixture of emotions, actions, and feelings.  There has been highs and lows, euphoria and frustration.

As many know, it was born following a couple of quite deep depressions for Lazza. Mental Health issues hit many of us. Understanding the need to keep pushing forward, and then finding that self confidence to do so, is not easy.  And I type from experience..  I still go through the "what's the bloody point?" feelings. "Why am I bothering?" pops into the head. And it loves to eat away at your brain.

Staying positive, and believing life is great, can feel as if it is unreachable. But that's why we direct people to the growth mindset mentality. Taking action is imperative.  Here are a few ways to try and stay motivated - there are others in the pic above too. I hope this helps some - they helped me.

Set "your" goals
It may sound obvious, but make sure that the targets you want to reach are yours. It is very easy to fall into the trap of pleasing others. If you want to lose weight, for example, then set realistic time deadlines, and be proactive in your approach. But only do that if you want to. If you are happy with your weight, but others are pushing you to change, then maybe you need to look at talking to them about how you feel.  This goes for all situations. You are in charge of your own happiness.

Picture the end result
Research has shown that it is good to visualize the end result of your targets and how you will feel when you get there. Realise things will take time. Do not get disheartened if things go slowly. Maybe you are out of work and applying for jobs, but are not getting interviews. Don't worry. Keep pushing, It will happen. But if you give up, or applying for less jobs, then chances will also go down.

Break the target down
Sometimes your dreams can be big. But then they look unobtainable. So break it down into smaller chunks. HMHB have helped people who are going through substance abuse issues, and looking to get back into life. Start treating every week as a success. Set a small target for the following week, and build that up. That can be with nutrition changes, then fitness changes, then volunteering, then back into work and life. If you look at the end target as a long way away, look at how you will get there. You can achieve many small successes on the way to the big one.

Be accountable with positive people
Surround yourself with people who appreciate your targets and will encourage you. Remove yourself from people who are looking after their own needs in detriment to yours. That can be hard. You may have friends you really like. It may even be family members holding you back. Decide what is best for you. Remove yourself from negativity. I appreciate that is not easy. But as human beings, we thrive in positive environments. Just one small compliment can change your whole day. The same as one nasty comment can ruin it. Which would you prefer to help you? But give as well as take.

Be organised
A simple thing of having a tidy flat/house can help you. If you wake up and there are many chores to do, you immediately feel overwhelmed. Look around your home. Ensure dishes are done every night so you do not wake up to a dirty kitchen. It's a simple task. Clothes are not on the floor, the bathroom is tidy. Walking into a tidy room is heart warming. That does not mean you need to be obsessive. We all have "lived in" rooms. But that does not mean it has to be messy. Sort that out first.
Then organise you life the same. Treat it as your flat. Tidy up the messes. You need to be proactive.

If you cannot control it, stop worrying
We all do it. Let's say you have an upcoming medical appointment. Until you get there and hear what is said, there is nothing at all you can do. But we still allow it to eat us up as we think about all the bad things that can happen.
Obviously prepare as much as possible, but don't sweat about things you cannot control, A friend of mine is always worrying about upcoming football matches his team are playing. He stresses himself out. But he can do nothing. We have enough to do making our own decisions about our own targets.
Really it is the "what if" moment. If you can do nothing that affects this, try and relax and see what pans out. Then you can decide how to react to the situation.

Seek out positive
Try and look for uplifting stories and news. It's incredible how they can make us feel good. Much of the news is all centred on negative and bad. That can drag your mood down. With social media allowing us great internet access, there are some fantastic stories and videos that put a smile on your face.
Our Ajani course always starts with a video to put a smile on faces. Happy people are more likely to stay focused, achieve better results, and look for further challenges than those who are negative, according to a great deal of published research.

Think about why you have your goal
There are many reasons why you set yourself targets. At HMHB, we encourage people to set themselves a weekly realistic target on four different fronts - nutrition, exercise, routine and health. They can be simple - like an extra piece of veg a day, or five minutes of HIT a day, or even just getting out of bed at a certain time every day. And each week then change. But first decide why you want to do that. It could be to lose weight, to make your children/partner proud of you, to learn something new every day. Set your why, and then you have a reason to push yourself.

Be Consistent - maintain
This is crucial. Nobody lost weight by eating an apple. Nobody put on weight eating pizza. But whatever your target, whatever your goal, you need to be patient and keep going. So many give up on targets because of time.
It may feel like climbing a mountain, but if you keep going steadily you will eventually reach that peak. It is inevitable. But if you trip up, don't allow that to let you fall down again. Just keep pushing forward, plugging away.

HMHB says - look, there are no guarantees when it comes to life. It can sometimes feel like you are always coming up against a locked door. You make progress, but then something comes along to knock you back.
But unless you do keep going, nothing will ever happen. They say people get lucky - but that's just because they pushed themselves into that position.
Life is tough - we know it. Push on. Believe in yourself, even though it may appear impossible.

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